Hey, Superwoman! You are always working overtime to be everything that everyone in your life needs. No wonder you feel drained. I’ve been there and I can tell you firsthand that a good set of boundaries is exactly what’s needed.
Setting boundaries is literally a way of life. There are boundaries to just about everything. We set boundaries with our homes, dividing our space from our neighbors’ spaces, brick by brick. We set boundaries to show clear separations between states and countries. There are boundaries on roads to divide lanes of traffic. Setting boundaries is essential to so many aspects of life, yet somehow for women the idea of setting boundaries in our lives does not always come as naturally.
For women it is natural to want to make ourselves available. The nurturing nature that women possess makes us want to give people access to us constantly because we want to be readily available when we’re needed. The baby is sick? Mama the nurse at your service. Hubby is hungry? Wifey the chef is here to assist. A girlfriend needs cheering up? Your bestie is on the case. You always have a shoulder ready for anyone who needs to cry on it. You always make sure you’re front and center showing support at every event. You give and you give and you give until you have fully depleted your energy and then you muster up the strength to give again. And as much as you hate to admit it, it is wearing you to the bone.
But what if I were to tell you that boundaries are Biblical?
When looking for an example of why setting boundaries is so important, there is no better teacher than Jesus himself. (Yes, Jesus set boundaries while walking this earth). And if even Jesus set boundaries to be able to give of himself without seeing it as a burden, then why can’t we?
Ways In The Bible That Jesus Set Boundaries.
Yes, Jesus saw the importance in alone time. There are many times throughout scripture that Jesus deliberately chose to take space from others for his benefit.
•When Jesus needed to focus on prayer. (Luke 5:16)
•When Jesus faced times of distress. (Luke 22:39-44)
•When Jesus was working through grief. (Matthew 14:1-13)
•When Jesus was preparing to make an important decision. (Luke 6:12-13)
•Manipulation: When Peter and the other disciples wanted to use Jesus and his influence to back inappropriate agendas, he would shut them down. (Matthew 16:23)
•Demands: When Jesus was faced with constant demands and unyielding requests for him to perform miracles, he would separate himself from those people and spend time alone with God. (Luke 5:15-16)
•Entitlement: When Jesus was faced with his mother and brother feeling as though they were entitled to his time and attention just because of their relationship with him, he let them know that this wasn’t always the case. (Matthew 12:46-50)
•It shows that we are setting priorities and not choosing to try to serve two masters, both God and the world. (Luke 16:13)
•God instructs is to have personal prayer time, alone with him. He sees it as important to separate us from others to take time to hear from him. (Matthew 6:6)
•He encourages us to be honest and direct with others about the things that are concerning us. He instructs us to ““Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No…” (Matthew 5:37)
I pray that we as women learn that we do not have to be everything to everyone all the time. Sometimes we need to accept our limits in order to have the strength and mindset to give of our time and energy joyfully. Yes, we all have responsibilities that need our attention such as our children or work obligations but scheduling in time to recharge and reset is essential to our physical and mental health and it is Biblical. (Even God rested on the seventh day girlfriend.) So let’s all find the strength to say no with love, decline that invitation, make ourselves less accessible and renew our minds ❤️