Sundays With Syd: “Identity Crisis”

“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”
Toni Morrison

I have gone through so many transformations as a woman in my short twenty-seven years on this earth, with each transformation being drastically different from the last.

I’ve been a Tom-boy, rough, into sports and absolutely uninterested in my personal appearance. I’ve been edgy fashion conscious Syd who rocked a short cut and dressed in all thrifted clothes, put together in what I thought were editorial ways. I’ve been a party girl, who went out on weekends and weekdays alike and never missed a popular event. I’ve been wholesome good girl Syd, curse like a sailor Syd, wife Syd, mom Syd… I’ve reinvented myself so many times that I’ve lost count.

But with each reinvention and new season of Sydney, there would come a time where something felt like it was missing. When I was a party girl I felt invalidated when I wasn’t on the guest list. When I was a tomboy I felt insecure when I wasn’t the fastest or the best at a particular sport. In this new season of life as a wife and a mother I think less of myself when I get upset with my son too quickly or my effort around the house goes under appreciated.

The truth is, outside influences and opinions have shaped how people view and carry themselves since the beginning of time. But in this new age of social media it is easier now more than ever to allow the opinions and lives of others to shape your identity.

The good news is that none of the superficial things that we lean on for validation actually shape our true identity. That, girlfriend, is defined by who God says we are. One of my favorite scriptures says that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139: 13-14). And as we look at these verses in the full context of Chapter 139, we see that David is singing the praises of God. In the verses leading up to verses 13 and 14 he explains how God is all-knowing and all-powerful (Psalm 139:6-11).

David then moves on to explaining how intimately God knows us and how painstakingly he created us, all individually; “you are the one who created my innermost parts; you knit me together while I was still in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13). The same God who created the seven wonders of the world, and galaxies far far away (and your favorite Instagram influencer who you can’t help but to compare yourself to). That all-knowing and all-powerful God created YOU! So who else but him could be the ultimate authority on your identity.

The beautiful thing is that God knew long before you came into existence how much of an issue identity would be for you and all of his people. So much so that identity is a reoccurring theme throughout the Bible. There are tons of verses to remind you of who you are in Christ: You are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), You are precious (Isaiah 34:4), You are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and You are loved (1 John 4:19).

So while our feelings are usually valid, they are ever changing and do not hold up as a constant truth. Sometimes we feel good about ourselves and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we feel capable and sometimes we feel inadequate. We can’t rest on our constantly changing feelings to show us our true identity. But we can lean on the truths of a constant and never failing God.

So girl even on your worst day, believe who God says you are, then show up as her. Your feelings will fall into place. ❤️