“This mom sh*% is not for the faint of heart”, will inevitably be printed across my tombstone as it is my most used phrase since having become a mom a meager two years ago.
I say it when an old friend reaches out to catch up, when my husband checks in to see how my day is going, when I’m changing my 100th poopy diaper of the day or when I am trying to rationalize negotiating the demands of someone who can barely speak in three word sentences. No truer words have ever been spoken because well, “this mom sh*% is not for the faint of heart.”
Motherhood is arguably the toughest gang I’ve ever been apart of! And while it’s honestly the only gang I’ve ever been apart of I’d put my money on a Mama Bear over the leader of any well known gang any day of the week. (We don’t play about our kids.) The initiation process is also a million times harder! Trust me. I got initiated May 13, 2018 after 18 hours straight of agonizing hazing. I lie to you not, after being asked by the nurse how I felt I answered, “I feel like a bad bi*%,” while cuddling my newborn baby in my arms. And that’s honestly how I felt.
You see, they say that the human body can only withstand 45 units of pain, yet at the time of birth a mother can experience up to 57 units of pain. They equate that to 20 bones getting fractured at once. Now I didn’t fact check this and I’m honestly not sure how credible a Facebook meme can actually be, but if you’ve experienced the pain of contractions first hand then you know, they might be on to something here.
I rep #MomLife like Tupac repped Thug Life because it’s honestly just as hard. Have you ever tried to navigate a full blown, fall out on the floor tantrum in public? I’d rather risk it all selling drugs! (I’m kidding obviously… but like not.)
So, cheers to all the Mamas who are raising good humans the best way they know how, stumbling through motherhood ever so gracefully. I’m here to let you know you are not alone because honestly, we’re all just Winging It.