“At the end of the day I just want my solitude.”
Let me know if you can relate to this on a personal level. It’s the end of the day and you’re putting your children to bed. Your baby still needs to be nursed and your toddler needs some extra bedtime cuddles. You’ve been climbed on, hung off of, tugged at, kissed, hugged etc. all day long! By this time each day you feel an overwhelming need to be alone and to have some autonomy over your body. But your mothering instincts take over and you continue to meet the physical needs of your children even though the feeling of being “touched out” causes you so much anxiety and anger. Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone! And like most of the plights of mothers everywhere it is overlooked and not discussed nearly enough.
What Does It Mean To Be “Touched Out?”
Being touched out is defined by Parents.com as “needing a break from physical contact.” Similarly to feeling “burnt out” a mommy who is feeling touched out may feel the need to have a break from your babies. You may desire time to yourself to gather your thoughts or just catch your breath. Dissimilar to feeling burnt out, however, you may desire a break from your significant other too. When you are feeling touched out physical touch from anyone can be triggering.
Tips To Deal With Being Touched Out
1) Take Time For Yourself
One of the main reasons moms get touched out is because we fail to take time for ourselves throughout the day. If you can, it’s really important to take a break from your children to reset. Take a nice long shower, workout, paint your nails, something! Pour back into yourself.
2) Communicate With Your Partner
Sometimes we can have an emotional reaction toward our partners when we’re “touched out” and unnecessarily take our frustrations out on them. We have to communicate our feelings with our partners so that they understand why we’re feeling the way we’re feeling. A good partner will give you the space that you need.
3) Incorporate Some Positive Touch
Feeling touched out at the end of the day is a psychological issue just as much as it is a physical issue. The problem isn’t just the physical touch itself but also the neediness that the physical touch is associated with. All day long moms experience physical touch as a means to meet the needs of others. When physical touch has negative connotations and has only been associated with caring for other people it is no wonder why we feel like we want none of it by the day’s end. It’s important to incorporate physical touch into your routine that is pampering toward you such as a massage, pedicure, or hair important. You deserve it.
4) Always Remember That You’re A Great Mom
At the end of the day always remember that although we’re our children’s superheroes we are still human. Don’t beat yourself up because you lost your temper over being pushed past your limit. Allow yourself grace and understand that we all need time to reset. You’re the best mom for your babies even when you’re not at your best. There will come a time when the constant snuggles and need for mommy will end so make sure you take the proper time to step back so that instead of getting touched out, we can appreciate this season of life.